Looking backward once in awhile is a good way to appreciate the intricate and quirky ways God has worked. The more I write for this blog, the more I’m realizing a bit of a theme of intentionally remembering what God has done emerging. There is weighty value in being intentional in marking the small and big ways He’s set milestones in our lives and made things happen for or through us.
I just joined hope*writers this weekend after being on the fence and not knowing if it was my “next right thing” (apologies to Emily P. Freeman who also happens to be a co-founder). Joining and finding out where I fit on my journey as a new writer, I notice one of the first steps is figuring out who your audience is, and also what you want to convey to them. I keep seeing this theme of marking moments and setting up ways to remember them so I don’t forget how good God is, and how good He is to me in particular. So just throwing this out there, I might start writing with this in mind on purpose! Slowly but surely finding my way…
I was looking back at this year and a bit today from a literary standpoint and noticing that more than any other time in my life, I have interacted with and noticed more the authors that God has placed in my life as influences, whether through their books or blogs or social media. I’ve met two of my favourites, and been able to sit under the voice of another in the front row for an afternoon, and had small but unexpected interactions with a few more on social media. Before I even had the desire to start writing again, this was all starting and God was leading me to notice more HOW my favourite books were being written, and why, and to get to know the stories of the authors themselves. This year gave me a new interest into why someone sits down to write a book. I’ve thought a lot about what makes an author, and why I’ve always felt that something need to be achieved before calling oneself a writer, in any scope. More importantly, I’ve learned how to let that preconceived notion go so I could move forward into what I believe God is calling me to.
Last year, I read one hundred books. This year the goal is the same (I just finished #66). The genres vary, although I favour some more than others, but now I don’t just read for fun or to be informed, I read to immerse myself in the people behind the books, to figure out the why and how, not just the final product. I sat and listened to Louise Penny, one of Canada’s best authors, on Saturday, with rapt attention. (Now I am kicking myself for not having the presence of mind to take notes, but I was so excited to hear what she was saying and enjoy it, I was completely distracted from any practical thought.) There is no coincidence that the day after I made the plunge to join hope*writers, only a few weeks after deciding to intentionally pursue this writing life, however it may end up looking, that I listened to her say in person that at the age of eight, she promised herself to one day write a book. Then proceeded to develop a phobia of writing, and not sit down to write until she was in her forties. If you’ve read any of her 15+ books, you’ll know she hit the ground running and HOW. It spoke directly to what I had been struggling with, that while I’d written and vastly enjoyed writing all through my school age years until finishing high school, I’d not written much since then besides sporadic prayer journals and letters. God graciously gave me a hint that I, too, could still start this “late in the game” and use my experience and slant to write something worth reading.
The kicker is going to be whether or not I let God dictate where it goes. Reading “Saturate” by Jeff Vanderstelt, (church-wide reading assigned by our pastor, and rightly so, as it explores vital, empowering concepts in the believer’s life) I realize that I can create a lot in my own strength, but it’s going to cause me burn out and frustration just doing what I want on my own, rather than to ask God what he’s created me for, and let Him speak and create through me, using the strengths and weaknesses He built into me anyway so that I could tell a unique story and show things from a perspective no one else is going to. It’s an intrinsic part of sanctification, which is a big word for just letting God change us from the inside out until we can love and live perfectly like His Son. Ultimately, what He can create using me as a brush or a pen is going to be infinitely more powerful, beautiful, and relatable than me trying to strike out on my own and try to do something just to satisfy myself or make ME look good. There’s more glory in using a broken pen to write a symphony than there is using a high tech computer to write an ad jingle.